Been diagnosed with Asperger's

On 13 May 2013 I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder. The diagnosis was done at a university clinic and by a doctor specializing in autism in adults that weren't diagnosed as children (because Asperger's wasn't known as well back then).

I decided to make this information public, just as I've always been open about being gay.

Asperger's, in my case, means that I have little empathy and cannot make emotional connections with other people. It seems I am only able to make connections by way of intellectual stimuli, and few people are able to provide those (my IQ was measured at 145 during the Asperger's assessment).

In most situations I am brutally honest, but as someone living with Asperger's one also learns to lie in order to cover up one's shortcomings and appear "normal".

People who have found me strange or weird, arrogant or aloof in the past may find this illuminating. I know I did. I am sorry if because of Asperger's I hurt someone in ways that I still don't understand. I never set out to hurt anyone on purpose, but survival is hard if one has no social net to fall back on.

The fact that I have no friends, and no one to defend me, always attracted bullies. Asperger's meant that I couldn't protect myself either.

While throughout my life I went to extreme lengths, and way out of my autistic comfort zone, trying to live up to my own and other people's expectations, I admittedly could not but fall short. I could not be more sociable, I could not be more flexible, I needed time and space to myself to recharge, and so on.

There is plenty of information about Asperger's online, but if you're really interested, just ask.